About Me

Hi

Background

I am a wife who have been betrayed by my spouse of 15 years. We are a middle income, childless family. Our life has been fairly simple and peaceful until the day my spouse decided to tear apart this peaceful partnership. His mistress is Velda, who was waiting impatiently for her BF Fiori to divorce his wife. Velda decided to cheat on Fiori with my spouse since she was bored.

As an IT Manager, despite my hectic work schedule, I have always prioritized my family as first. My spouse works as an Engineer which requires him to be overseas for quite a fair bit. As of writing, our D day* was 3 years ago, 2017.

Blogging

I have been procrastinating blogging for many, many months as I have struggled very hard on 3 fronts, my physical, mental and emotional well being.

At first, I thought, like many others, that journaling my thoughts, observations and insights while I confront head-on with my daily struggles. would help.

Apparently, it did not. 

In fact, it has the opposite effect since I got really upset, angry whenever I mention about anything remotely related to what my spouse and that mistress has done, and this affect me greatly.

More about that later in my later posts...




So now that I am more stable...I find myself able to blog more frequently as I recollect, crystallize my thoughts better.

The articles, journals and books which I have read so far either fall in either one of the following categories :

1. Academic articles written by professional marriage or relationship trainers, counselors and psychologists
2. Personal accounts in the form of blogs or online diaries... posted in chronological order as and when it happens
3. Non-Asian POV blogs are littered throughout the internet are set against a very different culture and mindset.

This blog falls somewhere in between... in the form of observations and insights** which I have read throughout the 18 months. Of course, this is also a private space, a solace for me to rant...curse...whenever I feel like it.

Ultimately, through these revelations, I hope that people, who has gone through the same personal trauma as me, would not feel lonely in their journey towards something better...

* Discovery (D) day
An abbreviation used in many articles and blogs. It is supposedly the day the unfortunate spouse (D)iscovers the affair. However personally, I think the word "Devastating" is much more appropriate.

**Difference between observations and insights 
There is actually a big difference between an observation and an insight:An observation is something that one can see and recognize from either the data collected or behaviors observers.An insight is something that is constructed based on less structured knowledge (e.g. like family history, character, culture and psychology and so on) to find out the motivations and drivers. In short, it translate data into meaning information.

Signed off,
The Survivor 2020