Sammi Cheng (鄭秀文), Jacqueline Wong (黃心穎), Andy Hui (許志安), Kenneth Ma (馬國明)

The difficult month of the year

It is that difficult period of the year again. April used to be my favorite month since it was our anniversary month.

However, as fate has it, it turned out to be the month that was His saddest period of His's life: the month that She "broke up"* with Him. He likened the experience of She leaving Him as, the worst day of His life, other than the day His mother died. His "bad bad day" falls on the 2nd week of April and that silly man actually saved that date in His calendar. This was to remind Him to properly mourn over His loss. During that period, He even desperately prayed to the gods to let them to be together in His next life-time**.

* It turns out that She was actually toying around with Him to test His response. The context was that She was f*rking pissed at His reluctance to divorce me to marry Her. She has just successfully gotten Her married BF to divorce his wife. When Her BF is finalizing the divorce proceedings, She hooked up with Him, yet another married man. She was hoping that He, my silly man, would divorce me quickly, so that She can have 2 newly divorced BFs fawning over Her. The very interesting thing is that both men knew each other existence, but refused to back off. 

And so, the April reminded me of the reality of the state of my marriage to Him.

** I also sincerely wish for the gods to grant His desperate wish immediately. That they, the both of them, should be together in their next lifetime, for many many multiple lifetimes. That I will never ever know Him and be the dumbest and the stupidest woman to be His wife.

Yet another marriage rocked by infidelity

Image from Entertainment.toggle.sg

This year, coincidentally the news of how the HK mega star, Sammi Cheng (鄭秀文), was cheated on by her husband, the HK star Andy Hui (許志安). Hence, the “OnSum Cheating” (安心偷食) news broke the internet in April. The news naturally upset me, as I can readily draw many similarities of this power couple with what happened to me:

The Wife - The Clueless Sammi Cheng (鄭秀文)- is more successful.- too devoted and believe her partner.- was very busy with the next big thing in her career when she found out about the inferiority.

The Low Life - The Girlfriend Slut Jacqueline Wong (黃心穎)- has a boyfriend.- is a selfish woman who only loved herself.- is described as a "cheerful, playful 30 year old woman.- is the *sexual* (sic) active one; who makes bold, physical moves men"***.- has a history of come in between married couples multiple times <news>.- has a habit of involving multiple men to keep herself very occupied. <news 1,2>

The Cheating Husband - The Wimp Andy Hui (許志安)- is a selfish man who only loved himself.- expressed "sorry" only after he was caught.- likes to hang around with other women, other than his wife.- has no guts to admit that he cheated because of his lust and pushes blame his failing marriage. 

The Boyfriend - The Stupid Kenneth Ma (馬國明)- forgives the cheating girlfriend very quickly <news>
- has many family and friends warning him about his straying girlfriend but stubbornly insisted to stay on

*** Coincidently, when I asked Him why is She His truest and only soulmate that He will never ever let go? He replied that it is because She is extremely "cheerful, playful sexually (sic) active, who made bold physical moves on men". Someone who is a literal opposite of me. 

How the public respond to the news?

The general response was overwhelming negative towards cheating couple, and especially towards  Jacqueline Wong (黃心穎) who was also a young rising star. The media condemned the cheating couple, Andy Hui (許志安) and Jacqueline Wong (黃心穎). They dug up juicy news of how many celebrity couples have been affected and nearly broke up by  Jacqueline Wong (黃心穎). They also concluded how she schemed her way to success by purposely getting intimate with Andy Hui (許志安). The sponsors dropped  Jacqueline Wong (黃心穎)'s product endorsements, gigs and advertisers immediately removed her from their Advertisement lineup.

However, there are still a few minorities who said that Sammi Cheng (鄭秀文) deserved it simply because she is older and more successful from her cheating husband. In addition, there are even others who questioned Sammi Cheng (鄭秀文) ability as a wife and that it is her fault when her husband strayed. And of course, there were also some who sided Jacqueline Wong (黃心穎), insisting that she is innocent and here is an extract.

“She once confided in me, quite unhappily, that her relationship with her boyfriend (Kenneth Ma) was not going well because they rarely saw each other. She also said she felt guilty because she fell in love with a married man — one who is married to a Heavenly Queen.
However, that married man told her that his marriage was on the rocks. He assured her that he was going to divorce his wife. That’s why she agreed to be with him.
If this is the case, then she is a victim. After the incident came to light, nobody spoke up for her. I don’t understand why she took it all upon herself instead of speaking up. That married guy is neither rich nor good-looking. She wasn’t prostituting herself. She’s a woman searching for love. He had nothing to offer her. She only loved the wrong man. She was wrong, but she does not deserve a death sentence!”." 

Personally, I believe that those who took sides with the Jacqueline Wong (黃心穎) shared the same moral values as her. They believe that it is right for them to pursue whatever they want and if got caught, the Cheating Husband is to be blamed. Well, I couldn't blame such gals for having such excellent excuses to cheat on their partners to be with others' partners; they are simply too dense to understand what a commitment means, and no bloody guts to break off their current relationship before starting a new one. In short, it is unsurprising that women who think like Jacqueline Wong (黃心穎) would not hesitate to play the victim cards to get out of the shit they created.

How did the Cheated on respond?

Sammi Cheng (鄭秀文) lied low for the first few days, before responding to the media, saying that she decided to forgive Andy Hui (許志安) and hope for this to be the learning point for their 5 year old marriage. The public responses are divided, with some praising the mega star's generosity while others are enraged by her decision to let the cheating on husband lightly, and blaming her actions on the curse of an Asian culture, where "traditional Chinese values demanded women to be faithful, obedient and family-oriented...as a heavily patriarchal society, divorced women or single mothers were not viewed favorably, although those women may be celebrities."

sammi_chengsauman

這次 ,是我們婚姻中共同重要的一課。這段期間, 我們共同經歷情緒起伏, 我們也就事件詳談很久很深 . 這是夫妻二人之間的一課, 也是往後婚姻路上學習到的一課. 我們在婚姻中走進更深處, 婚姻當中除了彼此給予的幸福溫暖, 當中也深深包含了彼此的錯誤和彼此的原諒.
人誰無過是老生常談,但事實確是如此啊。
在這次中, 重要的, 是更進一步身歷婚姻其中真諦. 幸福不只是一埸埸順利美滿,當中也有試煉, 也一起去經歷高低狀況,讓夫妻之間的感情厚度帶領著前行, 更要彼此走進對方的內心, 一起正視各自的軟弱, 不放棄自己, 不放棄對方,互相糾正, 互相提點, 在婚姻歴煉中, 我深信經歷和教訓一定會幫助重回正軌, 生命更會更生.
這期間在我們彼此都最難捱的時刻, 握著手一起祈禱, 對我們的幫助極大. 今天, 肩上的重擔彷彿輕了很多. 只願一切快平息, 回歸平靜. 最後摯誠請求各大傳媒不要再等候和追訪我年紀老邁行動不便的父母. 沒有更多想表達了,今天以後,就只向前看, 在時間的見證中,繼續一步步前行. ❤️

My Thoughts

This fiasco effectively encapsulated what a typical Cheating Husband will behave, how the cheated-on (in Asian Culture) will typically be pressured into forgive the Cheating Husband.

Sammi Cheng (鄭秀文)'s Forgiveness

Since real reconciliation will take months, if not years to take place, Sammi Cheng (鄭秀文) has chosen to publicly "forgive" Andy Hui (許志安)  at this point in time to pacify her elders, families and to be seen as doing her to preserve a family unit. 

Sammi Cheng (鄭秀文)'s public forgiveness is simply a strategic move to deter the media from making more negative speculation, as she has already too much on her plate. In short, the amount of pressure and stress faced by the cheated-on, is magnified x10 or even x100 when celebrities are involved. Imagine, having to face the such nasty rumors of  Jacqueline Wong (黃心穎's pregnancy news publicly. 

Andy Hui (許志安)'s Apology

A true apology will usually come, perhaps after months or years, when the dust completely settles; Andy Hui (許志安)'s lust for Jacqueline Wong (黃心穎) eventually wears off and the magnitude of what he has done has finally sunk in.

Hence, Andy Hui (許志安)'s apology at this junction is just a desperate bid to preserve his image, as negative publicity will fact his career and ultimately, his income. He is probably too busy to save his sinking career, to be concerned about Sammi Cheng (鄭秀文)

In the worst case scenario, Andy Hui (許志安) is simply not apologetic at all and pushes the blame on Sammi Cheng (鄭秀文).

All these will take place out of the public's scrutiny and hence, we will have no way of knowing how the couple cope.