Is Mild Love the New Exciting Romance? OH REALLY?

I stumbled on the article Is Mild Love the New Exciting Romance? a few weeks ago and shared it with my spouse. After reading it, he claimed that this is the kind of love he had for me all these 14 long years. In his own words "...very slow and steady"...Unlike the "explosive kind of feelings" he had for Velda.

In short, Mild Love falls at the opposite end of the Infatuation and Limerence. To succinctly sum up the difference, mild love is akin to a man's love for vegetable and healthy food; it is not the addictive kind but he knows that it is good for his body. However, he will always gladly give the vegetable a miss for an addictive fast food meal, even though he knows it is not a wise choice. 

He confessed that he only mildly in love with me (the unsuspecting partner) when we were together. Yes, only mildly in love and not madly in love.

Hence, it didn't take me long to realize that this was the root cause of his huge disparate behavior towards me, her and all of his ex-girlfriends.

My Experience of Mild Love Mode

He wasn't afraid that I would leave him when I caught Him lying that he had never contacted all his ex-girlfriends. In fact, he was actively in touch with all of them even after they sent Him inappropriate messages.

Since he was only mildly in love with me, he is more concerned about catching up with all of his ex-girlfriends than bothered by my hurt and confused feelings. He wanted to reminisce and missed the infatuation kind of relationships he had with them. He never cared or was bothered whenever I spent time with male friends or colleagues.

Furthermore, he is always, either consciously or sub-consciously, keeping a look out for a more "exciting" form of love since he missed that kind of "high" experience.

What I saw in his Infatuation/Limerence Mode

Once in the fired up infatuation/limerence mode, he was terribly paranoid of losing her, his mistress. He was horribly obsessed with her all the time and even resorted to "stalking" her place, appearing proudly unannounced at her home. He was also wildly possessive and get into heated arguments with her and all of his ex-girlfriends whenever they partied at clubs or had meetups with male friends or colleagues. He was so desperate and wanted his mistress so badly, that he was happy to settle as married BF #2 while She is already fooling around with recently-divorced BF #1.  

She, his mistress, knew it and lavished in the attention. She even sarcastically told me how terribly infatuated her was with her and wondered repeated why he felt nothing of the same sort for me.

Mild Love the New Exciting Romance is Fucking Unfair to the Unsuspecting Partner!

There was a Chinese saying that we should always find someone who loved you more than you love them. So that you will never get hurt.

你应该找一个比你爱更多的人.

He certainly believed that. He settle for someone less, that was certainly why he chose to marry me.

This is also the main reason why he carried out a full blown affair with her so un-apologetically.

To the unsuspecting partners, beware...that sooner or later, your life partner who "settled" for you, will betray you since mild love is simply not enough.